Why Don't We Just Elope?
by BeautyKilledTheBeast
Summary: Draco and Hermione are about to be married when Draco passes out five minutes before the wedding is to begin along with Blaise. What happens now that the groom and best man aren't present? Read and find out! "He lives in the mental ward of St. Mungo's, Hermione."


**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, then Ron would not have gotten together with Hermione and Fred and Hedwig would not have died.**

* * *

All the mayhem started an hour before the wedding was to begin...

Draco Malfoy was a nervous wreck.

It was the day of his wedding and he was about to be married to the woman he loved, Hermione Jean Granger. He was about to put on his tie when a bout of nausea overwhelmed him. He tried to will it away but it didn't help. It only grew stronger as he tried to repress the urge to throw up.

"Oh man, I don't feel too good," his best man, Blaise Zabini, informed him from the other side of the room. His face was twinged a sickly green shade as he staggered over.

"I think it might have been that firewhiskey you guys had last night." Theo waltzed in with a with a cheery smile.

"Shut up, you stupid prat," Draco spat in irritation when the sickly feeling hit him again full force as he grabbed the edge of a nearby table to keep his balance.

"I told you that bottle looked suspicious," the moron gloated as he fiddled with Draco's tie. He must have some kind of death wish.

Blaise aimed a hard covered book at Theodore Nott's head that sent him falling to the hard wooden floor away from the Malfoy. "What'd you do that for?" Nott asked indignantly as he got up before dusting himself off.

The Italian stared at him in annoyance."You were being irritating."

Draco felt gratitude towards Blaise and would probably thank him later.

"Just give us some medicinal potion and we'll be fine in no time," the blonde Slytherin demanded in exasperation to Theo.

"Fine," Theo grumbled in reply as he headed towards the cupboards while Draco and Blaise lay on the floor with their heads' resting against the chairs awaiting his return.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the two Slytherins had numerous problems at hand. The potion had absolutely no affect on them, Draco and Blaise could barely move, they were slowly drifting out of consciousness, and the wedding began in five minutes.

"You really shouldn't have accepted that firewhiskey from Weasley and Potter," Theo stated grimly, "It's quite obvious that they hate your guts and still don't want you with her even five years after your relationship began." Trust Theo to state the obvious.

"Wait...that's...it," Zabini said in a low voice as his eyelids began to slowly flutter shut, "Potter...and...Weasley ... have...antidote."

"They didn't arrive yet, but don't worry. I think it wears off after three hours," Theo reassured as he stepped over Zabini's body.

The blasted wedding would be over by then!

"I'll just keep Hermione company until then," Theo said cheerfully as he mercilessly teased the blonde.

"Bloody...moron...when I get my...hands on you," Draco swore before he lost himself to sleep.

"Hermione isn't going to like this," Theo murmured to himself as he walked out the door, "This is the fifth time something like this happened."

* * *

Draco didn't like his situation. Not at all.

Hermione was standing by the open window with a few tears streaming down her face and an angry scowl.

Taking a leaf out of the Zabini's book, Draco feigned sleep when she turned to face him and tried to even out his breathing. It apparently didn't work as well as he had hoped.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," the bushy haired Gryffindor called in a deceivingly calm voice as he felt her presence come closer to him.

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes to see her face devoid of any emotion. Definitely not a good sign. "I'm sorry?" he offered weakly. This seemed to be the wrong thing to say as he felt the air grow colder as the temperature dropped a few degrees.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Hermione snarled in that same voice. "Do you have any idea how I felt walking down the aisle only to discover you weren't there? You left me waiting at the altar for almost an hour before Theo came over to tell me that you and Blaise were unconscious, and on your wedding day no less!"

"Potter and Weasley gave us some firewhiskey," the Slytherin feebly attempted to explain but he was cut off by an irate Hermione.

"Oh, I know all about that," Hermione waved off, "they enchanted it so you would be have a bout of nausea throughout the wedding."

"It also knocked us out," Draco interjected defensively as he pushed himself to sit atop the bed.

"No, that was Blaise," Hermione said condescendingly. At Draco's perturbed expression she decided to elaborate. "After you both were drunk off your asses, Blaise decided it would be a funny idea to add some sleeping potion to the bottle that you both continued to drink."

As she explained Draco felt the memories from the night from before return to him. He remembered Blaise say something about a sleeping potion. They both weren't able to go to sleep that night and it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. But then again, Blaise wasn't too good at potions so he should have seen it coming.

"How do you know all this?" he asked curiously as he looked at her clearly for the first time. She had already changed out of her wedding gown.

"Fred happens to be a skilled Occlumens," she informed him as he snorted, "but that's not the point, Draco."

His eyes softened at the sight of her obvious distress. "This is the fifth ruined wedding we've had."

Draco Malfoy sighed and tried to defend himself, " It's not my fault, things just happen."

"Oh, really?" she questioned with an eyebrow raised in disbelief. "The first time we tried to get married, you challenged Fred to a Wizard's Duel."

"He clearly had a thing for you and I was just trying to set things straight with him."

"What about the time you tied Professor Lockhart to a pillar before the wedding could even begin?"

"He crashed the wedding!" Draco exclaimed and in a lower voice so she couldn't hear he added, "You even used to have a crush on him."

"I invited him."

"He was a lunatic."

"No, he wasn't!"

"He lives in the mental ward of St. Mungo's, Hermione."

"Fine. But what about that time when you punched the Ministry official in the face in the middle of our vows?"

"He was staring at your chest the entire time."

"The fourth time we were about to get married, you came down with dragon pox and infected everyone at the wedding."

"That wasn't my fault. That bloody Charlie Weasley sees you as a sister and doesn't want to see you with me so he brought his dragon over and got me sick."

"I think I would have noticed if he did that."

"He placed a shrinking charm on it so he could carry it around in his pocket."

"I think it's impossible for us to have a normal wedding," Hermione admitted in defeat as she lowered her head.

Draco pondered the problem. "Why don't we just elope?"

"Elope?" She seemed to weigh the option.

"It could just be the two of us and we could do it right now," Draco tried to convince her and he saw the answer in her eyes before she said it. A smile slowly blossomed across her face, "Not a bad idea."

* * *

When Blaise Zabini awoke, he found himself in a very sticky situation. His girlfriend Ginny Weasley sat by his bedside looking beside herself with fury and five out of six of her brothers stood behind her with equally menacing looks on their faces.

It seemed that little Ronniekins was missing. What a shame. He was actually Blaise's favorite out of the entire Weasley brothers because of his slow wit. Plus, the situation wouldn't be as terrible with him around.

He quickly closed his eyes and pretended he was asleep. Hopefully, they wouldn't notice.

"We know you're awake, Zabini." Crap, Ginny used the last name. He was definitely in a shit load of trouble now.


End file.
